Love, Loss, and Human Value

“The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?

When the wicked advance against me to devour me, it is my enemies and my foes who will stumble and fall. Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident.

One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.” Psalm 27:1-4 When we speak about the sanctity of life, we often focus on protecting life. But we should also remember to honor and mourn life that has been lost. Miscarriage is a cross carried by many families, and it is often carried in silence. My wife and I have carried this cross three times. It's a terrible grief to endure. Yet I know that even when a child lives only a short time in the womb, that life still has dignity and value because it was created by God.

Psalm 27 reminds us of our ultimate goal in the Christian faith, which is to dwell in the house of the Lord forever. While miscarriage presents one of the most difficult forms of grief, this psalm has always brought me comfort. The only lasting peace and reprieve that I have found comes from the belief that all of my children are in heaven. Even though I never had the opportunity to raise them, I am greatly comforted by the knowledge that they dwell with God, living a life greater than I could ever provide for them.

To pivot slightly, as Catholics, we believe a person's worth is not measured by how long they live, what they accomplish, or whether others ever meet them. Every child, and every adult, is known and loved by God. This truth calls us not only to defend life and protect the unborn, but also to recognize the inherent worth and dignity of every human person. I am reminded of this whenever I observe the bitter divisions that seem so evident in our world today, especially as we close in on election time here in the U.S.

I will always miss my children. I will always wish I had the opportunity to raise them, watch them develop their own interests, and even attend baseball games together. But this loss, a loss that so many others have experienced as well, has taught me something important about the sacredness of every human life, child and adult alike. And in that experience lies perhaps the most important lesson of all: to love one another as Christ loves us.